It was 8 in the evening. My family and I were celebrating because my Brother has been accepted to his Medical School of choice. My parents are both not from the Medical Field, but I appreciate how eager they were in listening to our stories and all the medical jargon I was telling them. We came to a point wherein my Dad asked me about my future plans. I joyfully told them my plans for Residency and why I wanted that certain specialization. But in the middle of our conversation, my mother confronted me with a question that caught me off guard. She asked me if I have plans getting married because I never mentioned it the whole time. She was waiting that I mention it even out of a joke, but I never did. There was an awkward silence. I don’t even know what to say. How am I suppose to include such plan when I am not even in a relationship?
OBEYING MY PARENTS OUT OF LOVE
Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. – Colossians 3:20
We have very strict rules inside our home. From what to wear down to when to do certain things. Believe it or not, it was only last year that my Father allowed me to enter a relationship. Out of my love for them, I never attempted to break the rule. I waited patiently that my Dad will give me a go signal, but life is not a fairytale. The LORD will not drop a man on your doorstep at once. It is not that easy.
Growing up, I remember my Parents keep on telling me to be purposeful in things that will affect my future. Be purposeful in my career choices and be purposeful in relationships. For them, every relationship comes with accountability that I can only fully understand if I am already mature. I obeyed them. I gave all of my ‘please wait’ cards to those who showed some interest. But most of the time, you know if that person is not for you because they won’t stay. And it’s not a bad thing either. They have a life to live. But through this, I realize that if it’s for you, it’s for you. And most of them are married now so I know for a fact that they’re not for me.
It was also last year that I get so conceited of my situation that I felt so much despair as if God owes me something. “LORD, I waited patiently. What else do You need from me?” For some time, I doubted God’s plan for me. I even wrote an article on this blog out of my frustration. But sometimes the answers are provided by the LORD when we seek Him during our quiet times. My heart found the answers when I remembered that the LORD does not owe me a spouse.
THE PROSPERITY GOSPEL OF WAITING
Young Adults these days are very much hopeful when it comes to marriage. You will rarely see someone who will quickly say that Christ is enough. Almost everybody is looking forward to build a family someday. Everybody is waiting for a spouse. Some say it is human nature to long for those things, but honestly, most of the Young Adult Christians think that way because the church made them think that way. Growing up, I was told to perfectly wait so that I can have the best fairytale ending I could ever imagine. We brainwash teenagers for a reward that God did not even promise. Instead of telling my generation to do everything for the glory of God and teach us to know and love God, we were taught to wait because there is a good reward in the end. Search the entire Scripture for this, but you can never find it as something that God promised.
GOD TAUGHT ME TO FORSAKE MY IDOLS
Little children, guard yourselves from idols. – 1 John 5:21
Honestly, for a moment my desire for marriage became an idol. The thought of being found by a godly man filled my mind like a fog. I cannot think of anything else but him. When I was a teenager, I kept on reading all those books about waiting. I listened to podcasts and even Pastors that cannot think of anything else but to make me wait. But when I reached 22, I started longing to know God more. It’s as if the fog that has blinded me for years disappeared. I started to realize that there is something more than waiting for a man that cannot even save me. I studied the Scripture, and begun digging into God’s Attributes. That’s when I knew that God is not concerned of any earthly pleasures that I gain in this world. He is so much more concerned about my sanctification so I can be more like Christ even if it means that I need to face trials in this world. I learned to forsake my idols because God gave me strength through His Spirit.
Whoever says “I know Him” but does not keep His commandments is a liar, and the truth is not in Him, but whoever keeps His word, in Him truly the love of God is perfected. By this we may know that we are in Him: whoever says he abides in Him ought to walk in the same way in which He walked. – 1 John 2: 4-5
Forsaking my idols is not even easy. There are many times that I cry out in despair because of loneliness. The thought of living this life alone sometimes makes me sad. There are also times that I hate men for being too superficial because they will only consider you attractive if you are outwardly beautiful. But there are times that these facts make me search my heart for all those sins I have kept in me. Self-absorption and pride always fill my heart. When you think you deserve the best because you waited perfectly, there will be no room in your life to be gracious to those who showed interest in you. There are times that I see someone not good enough because he has flaws and he doesn’t meet my standards as a Christian. Although we must not desire to be unequally yoked with unbelievers, we must also understand that we are not in our glorified bodies yet. We still commit sin and marriage is not about finding the perfect one. It is finding someone who will help you love God for the rest of your life.
GOD IS ENOUGH FOR ME
Whom have I in heaven but You? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides You. – Psalm 73:25
I am already 27 and for some people this is not the best age to say that you don’t want to get married. Honestly, a part of me wants to get married and have kids, but my whole being desires to glorify God. And if His plans does not include a spouse, who am I to rebel against Him? He has been good all my days and I couldn’t ask for more. He is more than enough for me.
All those selfish desires that we have came from thinking that God owes us something, but in reality, we owe God our lives. Every second of our lives depends on Him, and if you have lived all your life desiring things that are not pleasing to Him, you will be held accountable for it. I don’t want to put my trust into something that God did not promise me. He promised me Christ and he must be enough for me.
TRUST HIS PLANS
Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God. – Psalm 20:7
My conversation with my family ended with my Dad reassuring me that he is praying for my future spouse. It felt like a burden was taken from me because I don’t even pray that much for my future spouse. When I think of my future spouse, all I can utter is, “Let Your will be done in me, LORD.” I know my parents worry that I will live alone, and that’s normal. Although I do not fully desire right now to marry someday, I know God’s will prevails. He can make me change my mind but He can make my decisions firm too. But whatever is ahead of me, I trust Him fully.
I believe in God’s providence and His supremacy. Let me rest on those truths everyday of my life.