ALWAYS BEEN

I have always been someone’s shortstop before he finds his one true love. That unknown detour deep in the woods. A road he thought might give him a taste of freedom — only to find his way back to his old path.

I have always been that beggar on the streets who hopes that someone will not just lend me coins, but also a love that I have never felt before. That feeling of someone accepting you for who you are despite all the mess you went through and the rags you wore just to make it through the day.

I have always been that weeping bride whose happy ending is not going to happen anymore because her groom has found someone better. That feeling of someone rejecting you before you could even say “I do” just because he is scared of having you around for the rest of his life — not knowing all you wanted is a simple life with him and not all the things he can give to you.

I have always been that book you didn’t pick up on the shelf of an old library just because I look like a mess. Someone picked me up last time and ripped some of my pages and throw them away, until my spine can’t hold on to the rest of me. You can’t understand my story and confuse my pain as pride only to find out I can’t be completely understood because he left me with nothing but empty pages.

But I hope one day, someone will see me as his last stop — a riveting sunset by the end of the day. Someone who will love me for who I am and see my wounds as battle scars. Someone who will stop me from crying so he can drag me into the altar and hear him say a vow that is more than enough to console me for the rest of my life. Someone who will help me write new chapters in my life, and make me realize that my pain is all worthwhile because it led me to him.

 

© KrizSummer

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3 Comments Add yours

  1. RheaAngeline says:

    Reblogged this on Exhibit A and commented:
    Exactly how I feel right now. 😭

  2. That was sadly beautiful. Fortunately, there is one who laid down his life to rescue those who would trust him. His bride, he had to clothe in his own righteousness, for they could never meet the mark. Graciously, he covers and shields them to present them faultless on that day.

    1. KrizSummer says:

      Amen! 🙂 There is actually a sequel to this regarding Christ. https://krizsummer.wordpress.com/2017/12/17/he-found-me/

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