Writing this one seems to be impossible. I thought I will never find the courage to completely let go of all the hurts.
You made me feel I am worthless and I will never be happy. You made me feel that time and time again, history repeats itself — and no guy will ever choose to stay. After all the hurts and grieving I went through, and all those monsters I have to deal with for the past months, I can now finally say…
I’m now free and thank you for coming.
Thank you for coming into my life to show me that what I could perceive as ‘ideal’ is not ideal at all. Thank you for showing me that my standards are flawed and I must learn to test everyone’s character. Character is now a must for me. Because it’s not about how you display yourself that matters, anyway. You could pretend and fool people that you are great, but your words and actions will eventually show that you are fake.
Thank you for coming into my life and made me realize that intelligent people can be fool sometimes. You’ve achieved so many things in life, but you’re not a grown-up man yet. You are impulsive and fickle-minded, and that’s what made you look like a fool.
Thank you for coming into my life and made me realize that although age doesn’t matter, maturity matters a lot. You’re two years older than me but you constantly act like a child. Every time you talk to me, a part of me is wishing you’re mature enough to handle things. You act like an immature teenager and I hate that the most. Now I know that I want a mature guy. I’m done dealing with guys like you.
Thank you for coming and showing me that you can be a professing Christian but not a godly man at all. You can desire all you want like how you want to become a Pastor, but desires are sometimes not enough. Anyone can desire who they want to become, but only few can actually do it well. I hope in your case, you will still become a good shepherd someday because you clearly have so many things to still learn.
Thank you for coming and showing me that I am worthless. I realized I put my worth in the wrong place. Guys like you should not define my worth because letting people define your worth only leaves you with emptiness. And never will I ever let that happen again.
Thank you for coming and leaving all the monsters I have to deal with for months. For a moment, the hurts you gave me became the chains that won’t let me break free. You put me in the darkest dungeon and for many nights, I learned to cry myself to sleep. But thank you for showing me my fears because I learned to fight them back. I realized I cannot live inside the prison of your bittersweet memories. I should move on.
Thank you for coming and making me cry just like those other guys. You taught me once again that I am strong and my tears don’t mean I am weak. You showed me that I can love selflessly, and I must only give it to the one that is meant for me.
Lastly, Thank you for leaving because that means you’re not the one. And although you left like how a tornado creates havoc, I am more hopeful that God has a better man for me.
I don’t expect him to be perfect, but I am just glad he is not you.
Thank you and goodbye.
The woman you once fooled (but now she has grown wiser),