Why You Should NOT Always Pity The Lone Wolves

If there is a description that people will most probably say about me, it’s: She is most of the time alone.

Every time I go out and eat alone and someone who knows me saw me, they will always ask: “Bakit ka mag-isa? (Why are you alone?)” and the hard part is that when you honestly answer them that you just simply love it, they will react weirdly, and the next thing you know, someone will tell you, “Hey, someone saw you somewhere…ALONE.” If I was just rude enough, I might have answered them with, “Paki mo?! (So What?!)”, but most of the time, I just prefer to shut up and give them a smile.

Look, just because you saw someone alone, YOU DON’T HAVE TO ALWAYS PITY THEM! Especially if those people have friends. Because most probably, they’re just doing it because they love it.

I am an INTJ. By just saying that, you might probably have an idea on how we do things. Most INTJs are lone wolves and most of us have been single for a very long time (Jane Austen, Isaac Newton…hah!)


I go to movies alone.

I live alone.

I study alone.

I eat alone.

I go to the bookstore alone.

I travel alone.

I go to new places alone.

And honestly, I hate people who can’t do those things alone (especially when I am forced to come with them while doing such things). Ugggh.

It’s not that I don’t have any options, but I am most of the time around people (School, Hospital, Church, etc.) and doing those things alone is my way of recharging. It’s my way of freeing my mind from any impulses that I can probably get from other people.

πŸ’Ÿ Books. Books. Books. 😁

I’m aware that there are people who don’t understand why I do things this way, but did you know, I met many great people while doing those things alone. I was able to befriend a cashier of a bookstore, talked to book lovers, made kids laugh, talked to moms and received advices, learned stories of some people (especially the people I met at the airport).

If I was with someone while doing those things, I will not be able to meet new people and get to know strangers although it’s hard for me to actually introduce myself.


Since lone wolves are independent, that means they can survive without having you around.

Sometimes you misunderstood lone wolves because you never tried being on their shoes – exploring things on your own and getting ideas just by merely observing.

I was away from home since I was 12 years old. We live in a small town, and I was given a chance to study in a great school away from home so I grabbed that opportunity. I was so brave, yet I was also afraid at the same time. It was a struggle at first, but I learned how to thrive and to actually survive living alone and do things on my own. It wasn’t easy, but it’s possible.


Small talks? They’re a waste of time for us!

Maybe that’s one of the reasons why we don’t go out with other people. Because, what do you expect when you’re around people most of the time? For sure you are going to talk about, cosmetics, clothes, bags, boys, gossips…uggggh. And you really have to talk when you’re with someone, right? So instead of recharging, we are exhausting energy just to make sure you’re not getting bored.


We need you to understand that we are normal people too. Just because we do things differently from what you normally do, it doesn’t mean that we are weird!

So if you’re a parent who is troubled because your child loves to be alone, or a friend who is not comfortable with your friend who loves to be alone, PLEASE step back, think and reflect. Just simply support him/her.

Give us a time to recharge, to think, to do creative things and free our mind! Don’t always force us the to go out and do things we don’t want to do.

We have friends, by the way, and most of them are real ones. So instead of being troubled or seeing us as weak, I want you to see this attitude as our strength.

Travel to new places alone! ☺

We may have troubles building new relationships, but we can be very loyal too. So I hope you understand your ‘lone wolf’ friends because they’re happy when they are able to explore things on their own.

Everybody wants to be happy, right? And we’re happy to be like this. So please. Just let us be. 😊


From a lone wolf who loves to blog. β˜ΊπŸ’Ÿ


One Comment Add yours

  1. esorenneiluj25 says:

    I feel you!

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