In their hearts humans plan their course,
but the Lord establishes their steps.
Last December break, I had the most memorable, cringe-worthy, embarrassing and heartbreaking experience.
I missed my flight back home – missed it only for a few minutes.
I only get to go home once a year that’s why I cried at the airport while trying to contact my Mom and told her the bad news. I was already conditioning myself to accept the consequences like spending the holidays at my aunt’s house nearby, but my mom sent some money right away so I can take the next flight. The price was so heartbreaking. We could have spent that money to some other more important things, but that’s the best thing that we can do.
I was so mad at the traffic in EDSA (which was more than 3 hours, by the way), so mad at myself, at the bus driver…everything. I cannot accept the fact that I missed the flight that will get me home on time.
I was even asking God, while falling in line to check in, the question: why it seems like my life is so full of delays?
But it eventually sank into me that maybe I was thinking that everything in my life is “delayed” because it’s not God’s plan that I was looking at. It’s the plan/timetable that I have for myself that was not followed.
It’s so easy to blame the universe, fate, destiny, and worse, God when all our plans don’t match what He has planned for us. Some may even start to doubt His goodness, and you’ll start to think that He only knows how to give you trials but not happiness.
We grumble and cry like a baby when everything doesn’t go on our own way. We shout at the universe for not letting what we want happen.
The most searched article in my blog is, the new year entry I did last 2014 entitled “Sorry, I Cannot Meet Your Expectations“. Believe me, almost everyday, someone in the internet will search about not meeting someone’s expectations and eventually find their way in my blog.
We always seem to apologize when we cannot meet the expectations that the people have towards us. But I think, what’s more painful is when we cannot meet what we have planned for ourselves.
And when we start to think that we’re a failure and life has never been good to us, we eventually build inside our hearts hatred and ungratefulness, and then it will manifest towards how we deal with the circumstances around us or our relationships to other people. Worse, we grow cold towards our God who has never failed to give us goodness. It’s just that our trials blinded us in seeing that He has always been good to us even in the midst of uncertainties.
My life was never been perfect although most of the time I am a perfectionist. There were so many road bumps in my life that I even came to a point where I suffered depression and that was really the darkest moment of my life. And you know what caused it? The plans that I had for myself was never met.
I planned to save money at the age of 21. But who am I kidding? I’m still studying and all of us know it’s so hard to save during this time.
I planned to go to med school after graduating in my Pre-med, and then take the boards at the age of 26. But many things happened that pushed me to make the greatest delay in my plan (so far).
I planned to have a relationship at the age of 25 and then get married at 28. But that’s really really really quite impossible as of this moment.
I planned to have my first baby at the age of 29. But that’s not going to happen again.
I planned to have my house near the beach at the age of 30. Let’s see if I can do this. 🙂
And the list goes on…
Those are actually my basis why all this time I thought that my life was so full of delays. But delays are not really delays if God made it happen on time based on His plans.
There is only one kind of delay that we are capable of doing, and that is delaying our obedience. That’s why sometimes we find ourselves lost inside our circumstances as we try to find our way out of the consequences that we are suffering from. Once you decide to delay your obedience, every bad consequences follow.
But our God is more gracious than what we could ever imagine that even if we choose to go out of His will, He will, eventually, make all things work together for good.
I can’t get married soon neither have my first baby. But I will graduate this 2018 (Praise God!), and eventually start saving money. And take the boards right after my internship. I’m still hoping that I can finally have my dream house near the beach.
I think it’s normal for us to plan things because if we don’t plan some details in our life, we may live this life with no direction. But we must seek the will of God in every plan that we make because sometimes, what He intends to do, doesn’t fit our plan. And that’s the time that we must remind ourselves that God is higher and what is seems to be chaotic for us for awhile, is just what exactly is on His plan. We need to have a heart that is grateful and humble – Grateful that we have a good God that is gracious and everything that we have right now are blessings that come from Him. We should learn to humble down because we have finite minds. We can only comprehend what we know and those that remain a mystery to us are things that are incomprehensible for us. We sometimes boast that we know too much, but God knows more than what we know and we should acknowledge his omniscience.
Know that if you think you live a life that has many delays, you must trust God more during those times because He knows better and those delays are just on time if we base it on His plans for us.
Just have faith that He is doing it for your own good. 🙂
Happy New Year, my dear readers!
May your year 2017 be filled with thanksgiving.
Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love,
for I have put my trust in you.
Show me the way I should go,
for to you I entrust my life.