“Sleepless nights, hundred cups of coffee, outrageously hard exams”. You will hear us complain many times about the same things. And sometimes they might even get too redundant and irritating that eventually they will bleed your ears.
In this path I’ve chosen, I know am not the most intelligent one. I am not among those who scan their notes once and leave so much in their minds.
I am among those who climb, crawl and cry — those who fight every day against the ghosts that we don’t actually see. I am among those who stare at an exam paper and cringe because I didn’t expect that the one I ignored will come out.
I am among those who suffer. I am among those who hope and cling on to every prayer sent to heaven.
I may have never been into the peak of being in love with someone or even broke my heart so much that I want to die, but in Medicine, you can experience those kinds of moments every week.
It’s like being so into a lesson that you can write it down, memorize every mnemonics, write another concise version of it and yet fail to remember many things on the exam.
It’s like looking at the result of your exam that has been posted on your College’s bulletin as it screams your so called ‘capacity’ while you bleed inside because you know it doesn’t actually define what you know.
I have been into so much debate with myself. I have already asked GOD a million times if this is worth it.
I’ve already cried many tears, and rise up again because I have no other choice but to fight back. I can pray for a very long time just to release every frustrations I feel yet swallow the same insecurities again every time our exam results come out.
Nothing is easy. Believe me, nothing.
Yet I am here because this is where GOD wants me to be.
I may be weak and average, but I have a big GOD who rules my life. And through Christ, I know I can do all things (even those that are impossible) because He gives me strength and He carries me through my every ups and downs.
“Therefore I do not lose heart. Though outwardly I am wasting away, yet inwardly I am being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.” (2 Corinthians 4:16-17).
I’ll be facing two months full of exams. On the second week of May alone, I’ll have 10 exams. To my readers, I ask for your prayers. That GOD may give me strength, knowledge, wisdom and focus to get through this. Thank you, and GOD bless you all. 🙂