Your honeymoon stage with Christ, will always be the greatest moments in your journey. You feel pampered. You feel He loves you more than anything.
But despite those things, I know one day He will test me.
As a Christian, I feared the day that I will spend on the desert of my spiritual life. and I’m sad to tell you that I am currently on the day that I feared to come — I’m now on my spiritual desert.
Somehow, in one way or another, we will spend our days on the desert or the wilderness of our spiritual journey. Some even say that this ‘drought’ is a part of the tests we will go through in life.
I remember one time our local Pastor told us that the life of a Christian is a fluctuating one — never a constant rising up. I can still remember, too, the words written by Arthur Pink saying that we will all someday experience those low points on our journey.
There will be times in this journey that we will doubt the plans of God and envy the ‘good’ things that happen to the unbelievers around us. We find ourselves ranting, “Why do You let them prosper, but let me suffer?”
There will be times that you just simply don’t understand what is going on.
And there are times that you feel that you want to give up everything and run away from it.
For the past months I have been very busy with my studies. The battle between my flesh and my spirit has been my daily concern because my flesh, sadly, always wins. I feared this day to come because I know it’s somehow my choice. God never wills our defeat over complacency. He constantly reminds us that we should not let our flesh win over what God wants our spirit to become. I have quenched the Holy Spirit many times. I’ve placed a very small time to read His Word (worse, I sometimes cannot find time reading it), and I can feel now the consequences of it.
It’s not easy, and I partly blame this journey that I have with Medicine as a reason for this situation that I am going through. I keep on telling myself, “If you cannot prioritize God now, you will have a hard time prioritizing Him on the next years of your life.” I know I should make Him as my priority, but balancing it has always been my weakness.
Do you know the feeling of not doing anything for God’s Kingdom? Because I know how it feels. My church activities have been crippled because this field I’m into requires so much time from me. No Bible study nights. Not even a prayer meeting. I’ve shrunk into the ‘Sunday-goer-Christian’ that I’ve feared myself to experience again. And even if I don’t like that, I have no other choice but to stick with it.
I also doubted many times if this is God’s will for me because, obviously, I cannot see my spirit benefiting from it
I can honestly say too that I am not the most intelligent person in our class. So to stay on this game, I have to double my efforts. And the worse thing is, despite your efforts, the exams are always hard and you eventually see yourself grasping for help just to keep breathing on this journey.
And just what the title implies, “THINGS ARE GETTING WORSE” for me.
But just this Sunday morning, I know God is speaking to me through His Word. Our Pastor talked about one of the amazing attributes of God — and that is HIS GOODNESS!
Our Pastor emphasized on the goodness of God when it comes to blessing us with forgiveness, healing and salvation.
Our God is good because He forgives. Who are we to be forgiven? We were mockers, but then, He gave that forgiveness to us freely.
Our God is good because He heals — spiritually or even physically. Who are we to deserve that? We are nothing, yet God lends His hands to us for us to be healed from the sickness that sin is giving us.
Our God is good because He saves. Who are we to deserve that? We are sometimes prideful enough to think that we can save ourselves by doing ‘good’. Yet He still showed the way for us through His Son.
It struck me. God’s goodness simply reminded me that, WHEN THINGS GET WORSE, HE IS STILL A GOOD GOD.
I might be in the desert of my spiritual life right now, but He NEVER let my spirit die. He still sustains it despite the drought around me.
I might be weak now and confused on what I should do to get myself out of this situation, but I know He never get discouraged in reminding me to find strength in Him alone and reminds me, too, that His plans bring peace of mind. I just need to trust Him that I will get through this.
I learned that it’s easy to cloud yourself with doubts and drown it with tons of discouragements when you do not focus yourself to God’s goodness. God’s goodness might be His most common attribute (yet most of the time neglected), but then, when you start to believe that there is no good when things get worse, you are actually allowing yourself to believe that God is not good.
His goodness should remind us that when things gets worse in our lives, it’s probably because we are drifting away from His Goodness. It could be a test, but surely, someone who focuses on God’s goodness will not keep on being discouraged when trials come.
We always keep on saying GOD IS GOOD! We even sometimes continue it by saying, ‘ALL THE TIME’. But are we really faithful and steward enough to believe that fact even if our lives seem getting worse?
God is still good even when you are penniless. Because money is not our God’s concern. Don’t make your financial stability a parameter for His goodness.
God is still good even when your physical health is declining. Because there is no death for those who believe that there is everlasting life through Jesus Christ
God is still good when you fail. Because sometimes, for Him, failures have secret success that accompanies it.
And God is still good even when you feel that there is no good in you. Because there is really no good in us! Apart from Him, we have no goodness.
You see, we always have trials. We always have our low points in our lives, but whatever we are going through, the fact that our God is good, has never changed! And we should be grateful that in uncertainties, there is Someone who never changed.
Focus on His goodness and not on the things around you that make you feel that your life is getting worse. He has never departed from you. You are the one who clouded yourself with what this world is telling you.
I may be still in my desert days (I’m hoping I will get out of this as soon as possible), but knowing God does things to remind me that He is still there caring for me and wanting me to choose not to live in the desert because I have a choice not to, relieves the anxiety that my life has brought me.
With these words that came from my heart, I ask for your prayers –that I may find enough strength through God in these times that I will spent here. Please pray that one day I will wake up rising again from this low point of my spiritual life. :’)
If you are also going through what I am going through, remember to be strong. 🙂 We will someday find victory on this. Let’s trust Him!
Thank you for having some time reading this and may you dwell more on God’s goodness.
All glory and honor belongs to God alone.
“How abundant are the good things that you have stored up for those who fear you, that you bestow in the sight of all, on those who take refuge in you” Psalms 31:19