Did it ever come a time in your life that you wished you were influential; someone who could convince people to believe what you believe in?
Maybe you might imagine then yourself wearing a first class suit or someone who confidently walks in 5-inch heels. Or maybe you imagine yourself to be someone who can boss around, speak convincing words and talk different languages. Or someone who excels in arts and music, and even without saying a single word, you are able to influence people.
Whether you are an extrovert or an introvert, I know you have already been at a moment in your life where you wish you are that much powerful to convince people to make your beliefs theirs and do the things you do.
I used to believe that if I have the guts, an influential family background and some money to help me out do what I want to do, maybe I can change the world. Maybe, I can help the world know about Jesus Christ.
But I am not that much confident. I hide behind my blog. I hide behind my skills in writing. I hide behind these words. And confidence is just a language I only speak towards people I dearly know.
I am not from a very influential family either. My grandparents lived all their lives around a far-flung community. My Dad loves farming more than living in a crowded city. Having a very private life has always been the trend in my genealogy, and climbing the heights of fame and influence was never our aim.
I flooded myself of thoughts that I will never touch a life out there. I may have smiled at a stranger once, but I’m sure it is not enough to show the love of Jesus Christ. I’m still someone you may have sat beside on a bus ride but chose to look at the views outside than look at you and have some small talk along the way.
So, questions to myself still go on. I’m still writing on my unending list of ‘what-ifs’. How can I ever influence people? How can I show them Jesus Christ if this is how I live my life?
Then just this day, my Aunt talked to me about how much I’ve influenced my cousin’s life.
Of course, I was shocked and even asked myself if I am really capable of showing that to her. For me, it’s was effortless. I’ve never even had a desire to influence her. Never even pour a cup of effort to convince a 9-year old kid.
Looking back a year ago, I remember reading some Bible stories to her and her siblings before going to sleep. I can still remember how she got teary-eyed over the story of how Jesus Christ died on the Cross. She kept asking why it has to be like that, why He has to do that. With little sobs, she kept on telling me we do not deserve it. And her unending questions followed me as weeks went by. So I earnestly answered her, showing her that the answers are all in the Bible.
I even remember one time, she saw me reading a Bible. She went to get one and then sat in front of me. She saw me highlighting some sentences so she rushed to get her highlighter too. I felt she was having trouble understanding it because she’s reading a King James Version. So, I helped her go through using my Bible’s version.
For me, it was just some bonding time, and not even my definition of influencing people. It was more of helping than trying to change someone.
But when my Aunt said these words;
“If there was a legacy you were able to leave her, it’s your habit of reading the Bible.”
My heart melted not in a way that stirs up pride, but in a way that humbles me down.
You see, we sometimes think that God can only use powerful people to influence some lives. We have dreams of becoming like someone who is ahead of us in this race;
In fact, I dream of becoming the writer version of Charles Spurgeon who puts his confidence in Christ when telling people about God’s grace. I dream of growing old faithfully like John MacArthur who lives his life dwelling in the riches of God and sharing the wisdom God has given him. I dream of becoming like Stephen who may had only one chapter in the Bible, but taught me how to be confident in telling people about Jesus Christ even if it means I have to die in the end.
I dream of telling the people around me about Jesus Christ, but I was so focused on doing it on a bigger arena without realizing that I can be a help even in only one soul.
But I realize now that influencing people to believe on what we believe should not be the core of our worship to God. It should root in glorifying Him alone even if it means we can never stand and speak in front of a mega church.
Convincing people is not even our work. Only the Holy Spirit who dwells in us can do that.
Is God glorified in every action you do? Does it reflect a life that is already surrendered to Jesus Christ? Can it bless other people or just make the Holy Spirit groan?
Being in Christ, holiness should already be our desire. It’s not a desire that pushes morality alone without a love in glorifying Him.
And from that desire of glorifying God in everything, a light will spring up –a light that speaks of His goodness and greatness, a light that never desires to influence someone but it did, and a light that shows no effort of showing off, but through its humility, it touched someone’s life beyond what humans can ever imagine.
Maybe you are just like me –someone who hides behind words I can never express in public but words that dwell richly in my heart; a painting that hangs silently in the corner with no desire of showing off but was able to catch someone’s attention; a wild flower in a peony field; a firefly in a place of bees; a lampstand in a city of lights. Fear sometimes swallows me and confidence is not my closest neighbor, but God made me realize today that I don’t have to aim to be someone else. I can be who I am now and still be His workmanship. I can be small yet have a big heart. I can be silent but still speak loudly through my actions.
Because it doesn’t matter how big and influential you are, what matters most is what is in your heart.
A heart that is focused in glorifying God doesn’t focus on the number of lives that it was able to influence. It is focused in God and God alone; without thinking of numbers, greatness, money and fame.
Aim that kind of heart, and your joys will surely be beyond what you can ever imagine.
God bless you.
All glory belongs to God alone.
You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven. -Matthew 5:14-16