If he will give me a white rose, maybe he’s the one.
If he will give me a basket of chocolates, maybe he’s the one.
If he will show up tonight, maybe he’s the one.
I always wanted a guy who loves traveling, too. Maybe, he’s the one.
He’s handsome, he writes poems, and he loves watching movies. Maybe he’s the one.
He goes to church every Sunday. He’s good in playing piano. I’ve always wanted that kind of guy. Maybe he’s the one.
Just give me a sign, God! If he’ll meet my standards maybe he’s the one.
Emotion-driven anticipation for love; Selfish prayers that asks God to give you signs and make your standards become His plan for you –Maybe for some, that has become their life, and maybe for others only a single moment in their life.
It doesn’t matter how intense it is. Because the truth is we’ve all been into that kind of situation whether you admit it or not.
I may haven’t identified myself with the conditions I’ve enumerated above, but I used to have worldly standards for my ideal man and I love backing it up with random signs –just anything under the sun.
I like guys who are smart. If he can talk to me about anything –from books to movies, science, history, or even make me laugh on jokes that I’ve never heard before, then I might like him.
My course back in college exposed me to different kinds of men that are smart in different ways, and some of them almost met my standards. But there was this guy in my senior year in college who really made it to the top. He scored perfect in my standards.
I thought then that for the first time I already felt love, but two years after that, I didn’t feel the same things I felt before towards him.
He’s now just a memory that I can smile and laugh about not because of the sweet moments we had that are worth remembering, but because it was all immature, selfish and emotion-driven. That wasn’t love. It has never been love.
He was one of my college close friends and we eat together almost everyday. He sometimes make my assignments, my instant tutor and he makes me laugh so hard with his corny jokes. He knows my favorites and he’s my instant date (friendly date) every time I want to eat at our favorite restaurant.
There were many times before that I thought maybe he’s the right one, but the truth is, he never made it in my present life.
It was a long story, but I’ve learned so much in that roller coaster friendship ride I had with him. My experience with him taught me to never settle for signs and don’t build your standards to what this world dictates you.
He’s smart, handsome, good in public speaking, tops the class, a leader, a writer, I enjoy talking with him –he has all the common things every woman wants from a guy. I’ve even heard many girls before who are so head over heels on him. And being one of his close friends, I should have been an exception to that, but unfortunately, just few months before our graduation, I started to have feelings towards him.
If there was something in my past that I really regret now, It’s me setting those high but still worldly standards, and believed all the signs that made me conclude that maybe he’s the one.
There might have been no ‘us’ and never will be, but remembering those emotions I had towards him makes me feel upset. I should have known before that I was wrong. I should have accepted the warnings my good friends told me. It wasn’t love. I was just a fool then who thinks I am in love.
As I grow deeper in God, I’ve learned that signs can trick anybody. In fact, Satan can use your standards to manipulate you and drift you away from desiring to know God. He’s good in illusions and all the mystical magic when it comes to love. He can allure people and trick them to believe it was real love, but all of it ends up only in the pit of despair, depression and destruction.
That guy back in college might have given me signs that can make me smile and feel I’m in love, but it ended in a heartbreak even before a deeper relationship started. That experience could have turned bad for me if I was not able to grasp help in the loving arms of God. It could have turned me into a monster who will hate guys forever, but God never intended that experience to ruin me. He allowed it to happen to make me realize that I have been drowning myself in standards that are selfish.
The story of King Solomon in the Bible and his prayer to God about wisdom has been an inspiration for me for the past months. In my prayers, asking God for wisdom has been one of my constant plea.
Now, Lord my God, you have made your servant king in place of my father David. But I am only a little child and do not know how to carry out my duties. Your servant is here among the people you have chosen, a great people, too numerous to count or number. So give your servant a discerning heart to govern your people and to distinguish between right and wrong. For who is able to govern this great people of yours?” -1 Kings 3:7-9
If you ask for godly wisdom, God will faithfully provide it. He will not hold back something that will benefit your spiritual growth. He knows we all need godly wisdom because this wicked world has been into so much delusions, and to keep us from joining the world, God gives His people wisdom to discern what is truly right and wrong.
Our flesh (and that includes our emotions) can trick us to settle for less. It can deceive us in making decisions out of the feelings we feel on that moment it happened, and base our decisions in signs we received or the standards we have that was met. It can deceive us not to seek wisdom and just be satisfied on that lovely feeling you felt but will not possibly last.
But we are to test everything with wisdom and not signs. We are to follow God’s standards and not ours. We are warned by the Bible to use common sense and discernment. We are encouraged to think before acting and not the other way around.
It’s okay to have your standards. Because you cannot just date anybody and do some ‘trial and error’ in every guy that comes to your life. But don’t build your standards in the shallow sands of emotions and carnal desires. Set your standards in the godly way.
The center of our lives should be God alone, don’t make it to a point of having your ideal guy the main character of your lifestory. Don’t settle for signs and selfish standards. Your enemy is an expert in making your way down to the pit of a heartbreak, so outsmart him by having godly wisdom even in making decisions about love.
You don’t need to become a love expert for this. All you need is a fully surrendered life to Jesus Christ.
Don’t jump into having your conditions in love when you are still not sure with your relationship with Jesus Christ. Always remember that He doesn’t settle for something lukewarm. He needs 100% submission to Him, so that the rest (and that includes your love life) will follow.
That’s why the next time someone comes to your life and you think that person has met your standards, don’t dive right away in concluding that he’s the one based on the signs he has given you. Remember that anybody in this world can meet your standards, but finding the right one will only come once.
Don’t give in just because you feel he/she is the one. Pray about it. Ask wisdom from God about it. You can be deceived anytime and your only way of having a victory over that is through Christ alone and the wisdom He gives.
We all deserve to be happy. And keeping ourselves from a heartbreak is one of the ways for us to be truly happy.
Love wisely. Never ask for signs. Always ask for wisdom.
God bless you, reader!
Glory to God alone.
PS: Read the whole Book of Proverbs for you to learn more on godly wisdom. It’s a guide for you how to live a Christian life. 🙂
Wisdom will save you from the ways of wicked men,
from men whose words are perverse,
who have left the straight paths
to walk in dark ways,
who delight in doing wrong
and rejoice in the perverseness of evil,
whose paths are crooked
and who are devious in their ways.
Wisdom will save you also from the adulterous woman,
from the wayward woman with her seductive words,
who has left the partner of her youth
and ignored the covenant she made before God.
Surely her house leads down to death
and her paths to the spirits of the dead.
None who go to her return
or attain the paths of life.