A Battle Against My Flesh

For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. –Romans 7: 15-20

This day is one of those days that I wish I’m okay, but I am not. I wish I can write better thoughts but I cannot. Even though my imperfection should not be an excuse for me not to grow, but sometimes I have to accept that although how much I want to attain a Christlike image every second of my life just like what God wants us to be, my flesh will always be there to pull me down. I just can’t help not to cry out to God for repentance every time I have unintentionally fed my flesh.

Let’s not forget that the nearest enemy we have is our flesh. Although Christians should hate sin perfectly, but since we are still in the process of being sanctified, there are times that we fall short from what we expect ourselves to be. We commit mistakes unintentionally, and when we realize that we have sinned, it’s too late. The damage has been done, and we cannot turn back the time. 

Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.Matthew 6:41

There are things we hate to do, but we’ve just done it. There are thoughts we hate to entertain, but we’ve just entertained it. We have murdered people in our minds because of hatred. We have judge people without thinking that love should be what moves us every minute. We’ve been unfaithful, and we wish we haven’t been one.  We long to be perfect only in Christ, but since we’re still in our flesh, we cannot achieve it perfectly. There were so many times that I cried myself to sleep thinking how much I want to change but when my fleshly desires creeps out, it condemns me and making me doubt of the salvation I received.

If people think that a Christian life is an easy life, then they are wrong. Although we make forward steps through the work of the Holy Spirit alone, we can never attain it if we are not willing and we still keep on quenching His work in our lives. It takes discipline and constant reminder to ourselves that we should be humble. We should admit that we cannot do it on our own. Any form of superficial Christianity is damnable if it doesn’t start deep within our hearts. We have battles to be fought everyday, and most of it are battles against ourselves.

Sin; we wish it doesn’t exist, but it really does exist and it’s even the reason why we were separated before with God, and only through the grace showed by Christ we were reconciled with Him. We are still on this perishing world, and we cannot deny the worldly magnets that pull us down.

Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life—is not from the Father but is from the world. And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever. –1 John 2:15-17

We’ve made decisions that were against what God wants for us. We insulted someone and shouted at their faces how angry we were, but when we realized that it was a mistake, it’s already too late. We wish we can take back all the hurtful words we said. We wish we treated them better. You are not sure how long that person will keep on hating you for what you did, but there is something that is for sure; you’ve just fed your flesh, and you need to starve it once more.

Why did I not do what I should have done? Why did I speak harsh words and let my pride burn bridges? Why is it that even though how much I try to forget the hurtful words someone said to me, it will always come back and push me to think I could have talked back so that they will know how much it hurts? I know it isn’t right, but why did I entertain it? I know it’s wrong to hate, but why did I show it? Oh flesh, you know how much I hate you but why do you still win? I wish I can get rid of you so easily.

But when depression comes and it seems I’ve just lose a battle, God’s Word will always be there to comfort me. It’s normal to hate what compels us to sin. It’s a good leap if we are already sensitive to sin. An ongoing hatred against sin is a mark of His ongoing work in my life. That fact gives me strength to do things right once more. I may still fail, but I know God will always be there to heal me, convict me and discipline me if He has to.

My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin. But if anyone does sin,we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous. He is the propitiation for our sins, and not for ours only but also for the sins of the whole world. And by this we know that we have come to know Him, if we keep His commandments. -1 John 2:1-3

I long for that day when I’m completely sanctified and glorified. I long for that day when I will be able to worship God purely without any vileness that creeps out of my flesh or anything bad that comes out of this evil world. I long for that day that I will cry no more about the battles against my flesh. I long for that day that all I think about are pure thoughts and no more hatred towards my brethren.

If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and His word is not in us. –1 John 1:8-10

Those battles against my flesh reminds me of what is to come. It reminds me that there is nothing good in this fallen world that will ever try to convince me to love it. I cannot dance with darkness anymore that now I’ve seen the light through Christ. Our battles against our flesh should convict us to pursue more the life that Christ wants us to have. It should remind us how this world hated our Master, and it will always hate us because we are not one of them.

For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do. -Galatians 5:17

Let’s hate the sin with a perfect hatred because our God hates it so much. Let’s not love whatever that hinders our growth. Although we will face difficult battles against our flesh, let’s never give up for God’s grace is sufficient in our weakness.

But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. –2 Corinthians 12:9

Let’s not give up. Let’s continue desiring a Christlike life even if our flesh will discourage us.

God bless you, readers. Fight the good fight of faith.

Soli Deo Gloria!

In Christ,

KrizSummer

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4 Comments Add yours

  1. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Look at all the flawed (sinful) people the Lord used to do great things in the Bible. Of course we shouldn’t feed or celebrate our flaws but rather than the Lord can use them for good. Blessings, Natalie :

    1. KrizSummer says:

      Thank you for such a wonderful encouragement, Natalie. :’) I really need this. Indeed, No one is perfect. Even the people used by God that were mentioned in the Bible is not perfect; and we were all only made perfect by the only channel of Grace, Jesus Christ.

      God bless you too, Natalie.

  2. Kriz, David and many others sinned often in the flesh, but when they realized it, they turned and humbled themselves to the Lord! They would recognize what they done and would ask Gods forgiveness. God blessed,David’s, family line with the birth of our King of Kings, The most important thing in your walk with God is that you love him above all things and believe in him with unswerving faith…and with David it was counted as righteousness. And David was considered a man after Gods own heart! We love God and when we sin in the flesh we fall down but we get back up…I have a certain faith in Gods love, mercy, and grace, and I know He loves you still and you will always be in his loving embrace! God chose you before your beginnings here and blessed you to be able to share your praise for Him with others telling them about hIs eternal love always.

    I am moved to share a favorite poem of mine, and I know it will lift you always!

    A Treasure

    A treasure is found in the sunrise
    When my eyes do open to You
    For the fiery sun in all its brilliance
    Shall be my golden jewel

    And its beauty shall remind me always
    Of how rich I am Sweet Lord
    When Your love is such a part of me
    That so daily I need You more

    And even if many know You
    I feel no one knows better than me
    What You bring daily to each of our lives
    With Your love, strength and integrity

    For even if my flesh was to deny You
    My heart and spirit will always be Yours
    And they shall always possess deep within
    That sweet treasure which you laid in store

    Until the day of my real birth finally comes
    When our spirits leave the flesh and the battle is won.

    Wendell

    Blessings always my dear sister!

    Wendell

    1. KrizSummer says:

      The Second to the last stanza spoke so much of what I feel. You’re so gifted, my brother in Christ. Thank you so much for sharing your poem. God bless you. 🙂

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