When The Mirror Says “You’re Ugly”


We’ve all been into so much guilt over how we overlook ourselves. It seems like we are the most ungrateful ones every time we look at ourselves in the mirror.  

We sometimes complain about every sprouting pimples, wrinkles, scars, blackheads and whiteheads, or excess fats that cannot be hidden. We complain of our imperfections and sometimes we blame it on how our mirror shows who we are.

Let’s be honest. We all been through that situation where we wish we’re lighter, sexier, flawless and all the descriptions we want ourselves to be.

Even men have issues on this, too. Fitness gyms are filled with mirrors and every time I go there, I always see skinny and fat men envy other men on how good their bodies look in the mirror.

It’s seems like we all have been into that state of dissatisfaction. We wanted what others have, but our mirrors say we don’t have it.

We have two common reactions on things we cannot have. It’s either we lose our confidence or hate others who look good. There’s so much hate in this game we call ‘comparison’. It breaks relationships not just to others but also to ourselves.

We sometimes comfort ourselves over encouraging words that come from the mouths of influential people. They encourage us that the next time we look at the mirror, let’s tell ourselves ‘I’m beautiful, I’m sexy, I can be who I want myself to be.’

But there’s something wrong with that thinking. You still haven’t discovered the raging illness inside. And when depression and anxiety come, the very first thing that you’ll see in the mirror is the ugly you that you’ve been trying to avoid for a very long time. You realize you’re still not cured, and so you temporarily cover yourself with make-up and feel good about yourself again.

I know how it feels to be on that situation. I know how much it hurts when you feel that no one appreciates you for who you really are. I’ve been there many times, and when I realized it’s getting worse, I know there’s an inner illness that needs to be cured. No amount of photoshopped pictures, make-up, diet pills and slimming tea will ever answer this raging conflict inside me. It’s been there all along, but I covered it so hard that I cannot even recognize it anymore.

But then comes Hope, and I’m not going to hide Him with flowery words or make it look appealing to those who don’t believe in Him. It’s only through Jesus Christ that I found the light and the answer to what is really the root of all the descriptions I throw myself.

The reason behind insecurities is the ugly thing called SIN.

There’s a raging conflict in our flesh brought by sin, and it comes into many forms. One of which is the insecurities we feel about ourselves. The root of the problem that we see in the mirror is not basically dependent on what we think about ourselves. It’s there all along since the fall of man, and no amount of encouraging words to yourself will ever cure it unless you know the Cure. But He is not just the Medicine. He’s also the Physician.

Every bad things that we describe to ourselves is brought by the sin in our flesh that poisons our thinking. And to make all worse, it will be backed up by the thoughts that Satan will instill in our minds and the sickening error in this world. You’ll realize that the problem is not just what the mirror says. There’s more to it and you cannot fight it all by yourself.

And He said to them, “You are those who justify yourselves before men, but God knows your hearts. For what is exalted among men is an abomination in the sight of God.” -Luke 16:15

It’s sad how this world poisons the minds of people. It says beauty comes with a skinny body, lighter complexion, flawless skin and perfect curves. We try to aim, and think that’s how we all should be. But the problem with it is, when you don’t reach your aim, you get so frustrated and end up hating yourself.

Worse, you’ll convince yourself to be different but the difference you show is still a pointless difference because it’s not centered on what God wants you to do. The more you drift away from the truth that God shows through His Word, the lesser chance you’ll completely know the real Cure on your raging conflict inside.

It should start within. It should start with a humble and pure heart that confesses her sins to the only One who can cure you.

It’s starts with realizing that insecurity is a form of sin. And where sin grows, there’s no good therein.

We should also realize that what we should be cultivating is not how we appear physically. We should cultivate more a heart that is humble and pure. A heart that cries out for a change and submission to the One who really owns us.

Just like how Physicians do their job, you start with the root if you want to cure all the symptoms. God should also start with our hearts because we cannot cultivate a pure and humble heart all by ourselves. It’s only through Him that we will be changed.

When all goes well with your heart, you’ll be more aware that your nearest enemy is the lust in your flesh. And within it are raging battles of insecurities, jealousy and envy. You’ll be more aware that the ugliness you feel inside is a sin and you should fight it. You’ll also be less concerned of how the world describes beauty. You will care less if you don’t belong here because you know this is not your home.

I will not start with telling you to think differently about yourself if God hasn’t still worked over your heart because a heart of stone that convinces herself to think there’s more to what you see in the mirror is still not a changed life.

When your mind gets tired thinking what you want yourself to be, all your insecurities will fall back in and you’re back again crying over your imperfections. You’ll see yourself to be fighting over a problem that comes in circles. It goes over and over again and there’s no end in it.

But this illness is not a hopeless case, and I’m one of those who can testify that there is really a Cure. And all you need to realize is that you need a new heart. A heart of flesh that cannot be bought anywhere else. It’s free because it comes through God’s grace, but it’s not given to people who grasp and love worldly things.

And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put My Spirit within you, and cause you to walk in My statutes and be careful to obey My rules. You shall dwell in the land that I gave you to your fathers, and you shall be My people, and I will be your God. -Ezekiel 36:26-28

But first, you need to deny yourself if you want to change how you see yourself in the mirror. It’s not the worldly self-confidence that we are trying to cultivate here because a heart of flesh only grasps its confidence in the arms of Jesus Christ. Without Him, you will not have confidence.

This Cure also doesn’t come with encouraging words you say to yourself in the front of the mirror. It comes only with words written in a Book prepared for those whom He called for a changed heart. We don’t comfort ourselves with words that comes from a vile heart. We comfort ourselves with the Word of God.

When all those truths are already real in your life, your thinking about yourself will also change. You realize true beauty doesn’t come from what you see in the mirror. It comes out from what is in your heart. You realize that it doesn’t matter how people see you. What matters most is what God sees in your heart.

But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I rejected him. For the LORD sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart.” -1 Samuel 16:7

You don’t have to be defined by the beauty standards set by this world. You deserve something else, and it doesn’t come to a prideful heart but to a humble one. Let no magazine beauty poison you that you should be like that because photoshopped pictures are not real people. They are manipulated to define the worldly definition of perfection.

Remember that any natural beauty is the true beauty. It doesn’t matter when people say you look awful when you sit beside a supermodel. Don’t indulge yourself in the game this world calls ‘comparison’.

Let not your heart envy sinners, but continue in the fear of the LORD all the day. – Proverbs 23:17

We are not born to compare ourselves with one another. True beauty is not a competition, and the root of comparison is selfishness and that is not where we should dwell.

It’s time to smile on what you see in front of the mirror. It’s time to realize that’s not where you should be defined.

We are not accepted by God through our physical appearances. He only accepts who depends in Jesus Christ, the Physician and the Cure itself.

You may still fight against how the mirror defines you, but know you are not defined by what you see in the mirror because that’s not how God sees us.

And the next time the mirror says “You’re ugly.”, just humbly remember that “You are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14).”

Love yourself by investing more in your inner beauty. And most of all, be satisfied on what God has given you.

May God bless you and keep you.

All glory and honor belongs to God alone. 🙂


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